The Spiders in Australia Series #2

This isn’t much of a story, but still a neat little spider.

Small, but weird

Small, but weird

 

I also have no idea what type of spider this is, but it looked so neat. We found this little oddball on our trip out to a small place in the middle of nowhere called Chillagoe. During that trip we stopped at the Skybury Coffee Plantation, and we spotted him in a little plant on the way in.

sign-560

We just stopped there to have a quick break and try some coffee. The coffee was amazing, and we had a chocolate mud cake, which was also the absolute best. There were a ton of huge webs around the place, but this was the only spider we saw.

He moved a lot, so it was difficult to get a good picture

He moved a lot, so it was difficult to get a good picture

The Spiders in Australia Series #1

The first spider I saw in Australia

The first spider I saw in Australia

 

I haven’t posted any new stories the last two weeks because I was on vacation with my family in Australia. While we were there, however, I kept my eyes open for spiders and took as many pictures as I could. I know that none of these spiders were actually in my apartment, but since I wasn’t in my apartment either I thought it would be fine. And really it was impossible to not see spiders in Australia, so why not?

I just took most of these pictures for fun, so they don’t have spider centered stories, but they all do have little stories about the trip.

 

This lovely lady (ew), who is eating a bee of some sort, was spotted at the Botanic Gardens of Adelaide. 

This lovely lady (ew), who is eating a bee of some sort, was spotted at the Botanic Gardens of Adelaide.

 

During our last evening in Adelaide, my family and I went to explore the Botanic Gardens. During our trip my little sister, who is turning three next month, was in fine form. She was doing her best to push buttons and stretch her limits, laughing the whole time. I’m completely wrapped around her finger, so I was following her around helping her jump off of benches and down stairs. That is her favorite thing to do and if she sees something that can be jumped off of, she HAS to jump off it. After more than an hour of jumping down some steps in front of a glass house with her, I was ready to hand the responsibility off to someone else. My parents don’t spoil her as much as I do (which is a good thing) and only humored her a few times. She threw one of her infamous crying fits, then we moved on to the rest of the gardens.

The rest of the gardens didn’t really have as much for her to climb and jump from, so she started running away from us as far as she could before we yelled at her, then she would come back laughing. On our way out of the park, as my sister started to run from us again, my mom spotted the spider up in a tree. We stopped to look at it, but my sister was still running. I started taking pictures and mom started yelling at my sister to come back. Instead of running back to us and laughing as she did before, she started laughing and kept running away. We all yelled this time, and as she rounded a corner and we couldn’t see her anymore, we could hear her laughing hysterically. My step dad went running after her, still yelling, and as I took my last picture of the spider, I heard my step dad catch up to my sister and give her the first spanking of her life. Her laughing cut off quite abruptly and after a small, shocked pause, she started screaming like she’d been severely injured rather than received a pat on her diapered bottom. She’s quite the drama queen, but I love her dearly.

 

Not sure what type of spider it was, but the abdomen was a little smaller than a quarter.

Not sure what type of spider it was, but the abdomen was a little smaller than a quarter.

 

Because Adelaide was a rather large city, this was the only spider that I saw there. Fortunately for the blog, we later went to the outback and the rain forest.

 

Australian-Spiders

The Spider At Work (Yellow)

I passed her every day (running because I was scared she would jump on me)

I passed her every day (running because I was scared she would jump on me)

 

Admittedly, this spider was not in my apartment. This spider was at my work, which is just down the road from my apartment. (We were having a serious spider problem last summer.) I named her Yellow because the first time I saw her out of the corner of my eye, I jumped back, and yelled, “YELLO.” You know, like hello, but surprised… And she was yellow… I’m creative.

After that day for at least two weeks I ran when I rounded that corner, hoping to God she didn’t fall on me or jump at me and eat my eyes. I would have avoided it all together, but it was the only way to get to my car. After another week of lightly jogging by, I noticed that she hadn’t moved once since the first time I saw her, so I assumed she was dead. I was correct, and it was only at that point that I felt brave enough to take a picture.

 

I don’t have a picture of this, but I had another, decidedly more horrifying, spider experience at work. I was walking to my car one night, and I passed by one of our golf carts that we leave by the loading dock. I thought I saw something moving on it, so I looked and I saw that a spider had made a web on it. I made a face and started to turn away when I saw ANOTHER spider and web at another place on the cart. I stepped back and really looked at the golf cart and realized it was absolutely COVERED with spiders and webs.

Emma Stone is the best at expressing my feelings

Emma Stone is the best at expressing my feelings

They were all a darkish brown, had round bodies about the size of a dime, and had medium spindly legs. I stopped counting at 23 spiders, but there were more. One had a web in the steering wheel, several were on the back opening, several had made webs from the dashboard to the seat, some made webs around the gas and brake pedals….. It was like a nightmare. I could not make this stuff up if I tried, because I absolutely would not want to.

NEVER

NEVER

I wanted to leave a big note on the cart warning the person who would use it in the morning to look carefully, but I didn’t have anything to write with. Also, I just wanted to run the hell away. I really hope they were not devoured by the spider herd, but I can’t be sure.

BMW running away

The Spider in My Vacuum (The Spider That Started It All) (MF)

The first encounter in my apartment

The first encounter in my apartment

 

This is the first spider that I met in my apartment. I know the picture sucks, but I didn’t take the picture for blog purposes. I took it because I was scared it would bite me and I wouldn’t be able to tell the ER what kind it was.

Anyway, this is probably the second worst experience with a spider that I have ever had.

I had just moved into my apartment maybe a few days before this happened. It was the first time I moved away from home, and I was a little overwhelmed and stressed about the whole situation. Luckily, I moved into an apartment that already had two girls living in it, so everything was furnished except my bedroom. One day when both of my roommates were out, I decided to get accustomed to my new place by cleaning. I know that’s lame, but I have a mild case of OCD. And really, it’s an excellent way to figure out where everything is when you go around looking for cleaning supplies.

I had already cleaned up the kitchen, and I decided to finish up by running the vacuum. I looked around for a vacuum, and in the corner I found a VERY small, cordless vacuum with a long handle.

It looked almost exactly like this. (Found at Walmart.com)

It looked almost exactly like this. (Found at Walmart.com)

Anyway, I was about ten minutes in and it stopped pulling up all the dog hair, so I figured it was full. Not being familiar with the vacuum, I turned it upside down and started looking at the bottom part trying to find the canister. I thought I had found it and I grabbed a small plastic lip and pulled. Then the second scariest spider moment of my life happened. At the same time the plastic popped and came loose, a smallish brown thing came flying out right next to my face and landed by my foot. I screamed and dropped the plastic cover I had popped off. I looked down and there, by my foot, was MF. I’m sure you can imagine what that stands for. I named him that because those were the first words out of my mouth when I got a look at him.

It was exactly like this (Found at Giphy.com)

It was exactly like this (Found at Giphy.com)

Normally when I get scared, I go for the flight response. Not this time. I froze up and stared at him for a long while, just trying to process everything. I stared and stared and stared, neither of us moving…

After I had time to process and found the courage to move, I slowly backed away. I kept my eye on him as I backed up to the sink and groped around the cabinet underneath, searching for some kind of bug spray by feel. I eventually found some, though I had some back ups like antibacterial spray.

I walked back to MF and stood as far away from him as I could and still hit him with the spray, which explains why the pictures are so bad. I fired, and then he started to run. I made a strangled noise and followed him, spraying him constantly the whole time. I will never forget the horrible, creeptastic, robotic way he panic-ran away from the spray. He made it under one of the couches, which luckily was very high off the ground, so it wasn’t hard to look underneath and spray some more. I continued to spray until the can was empty, though he had curled up long before.

It made me feel the way this did the first time I saw it

It made me feel the way this did the first time I saw it (Found at Gifbin.com)

MF was the largest spider I had ever seen up to that point in my life. He had a huge body and super thick legs… Ugh.

What really got me about the experience was that either MF found the vacuum and thought it would make a really cozy, dark home, OR one of my roommates found him and couldn’t figure out how to kill it, so she vacuumed him up in that tiny ass vacuum cleaner and just left him there…

Next to him you can see the plastic cover I was talking about

Next to him you can see the plastic cover I was talking about

To this day I do not know what kind of spider MF was, though I told everyone he was a brown recluse because for a while I was convinced he was. Then I actually looked them up and discovered he was not, but I continued to tell people he was because it made the story better.

 

The Spider in My Bathroom (Renaldo)

 

It's a wolf spider... Screw that.

This is Renaldo

A few nights ago, I went into the bathroom to pee. I have a pretty small bathroom, and it’s not hard to find your way around, so I went in without turning on the lights. As I sat there peeing, I glanced around and saw a dark blob in the corner by my bathtub that was not a dark blob that was usually there. I sighed, finished peeing, turned on the lights, and there it was. That brown thing that I hate more than anything. I sat back on the toilet and stared at it. We talked for a bit. The conversation went something like this.

“So, I see you have broken into my apartment.”

“…”

“Look, I don’t want to kill you, but I will if you don’t get the crap out of here now.”

“…”

“Renaldo, can I call you Renaldo? I’m gonna need you to leave.”

“…”

“I’m so serious, get the fuck out.”

“…”

“Alright, well, I warned you.”

I grabbed my phone and snapped a few joke pictures to show my boyfriend, because that’s just what I’ve been doing since I realized that my apartment was infested.

Bathroom Spider (7)

This is the first one I sent… You can’t really tell what I’m pointing at, I realize.

Bathroom Spider (8)

I VERY SLOWLY got closer, and took another picture that you could actually see the spider in.

 

As I left the bathroom I had the brilliant idea of starting a blog about all of my spider moments. I tell everyone about them anyway. So, instead of just coming back with a shoe, I came back with a shoe and a camera (for better pictures). I snapped a few pictures and picked up my sandal.

“Last chance…”

“…”

And that was the end of that. He went down the toilet. That’s the safest place for them. I can trust they aren’t faking death. This is a serious issue, and they can’t come crawling back to seek revenge when they’ve been flushed. The trash is another story… As childish as that is, I really think about this stuff.

Anyway, enjoy another picture of Renaldo.

 

 

He didn't move once during the whole process. I warned him though.

He didn’t move once during the whole process. I warned him though.

I had another bathroom spider experience where the spider was on the wall near the ceiling and I had to stand on the toilet and the side of the bathtub to kill it. Sometimes you just can’t reach spiders with your shoe, though, so it’s always good to have a plan B.

 

 

This was plan B (Found at hilariousgifs.com)

This was plan B
(Found at hilariousgifs.com)